Challenging the
Silence of Suicide
Don believes the greatest issue that we have in the world of suicide prevention is the social stigma of mental health and suicide. His mission is to reduce that stigma by encouraging people to be more open with their losses and with their need for help.
Most of us don’t know how to have conversations about suicide because our parents were uncomfortable with the subject. In years past, it was believed that talking about it would lead to an increase in suicides, especially in young people. Today, that belief is seen to be mostly fear based and it’s more encouraged for people to be open, but most of us don’t know how to have those conversations. This inability to have fruitful conversations creates more shame and we don’t know how to discuss our guilt when a loved one dies by suicide. Our support systems often have the best intentions but often feel like they will say the wrong thing, or even cause harm by saying the wrong thing. Some clinicians also have a difficult time broaching the subject.
Societal stigmas around mental illness and suicide often dissuade people from getting help for themselves. While successful and trusted people are seen to be disciplined and in control, those who struggle with depression, anxiety, or psychosis are often seen as untrustworthy or weak. These mindsets are perpetuated by education, movies, faith institutions, and social media. The impact of these attitudes is often subtle, but it clearly affects whether people will open up to others, even those whom they trust. These stigmas will remain until society views mental health issues as being both a medical issue and a mental health issue. Once the visible symptoms of mental health are not seen as a weakness, and stoicism is no longer praised as strength, we will see a change.
There is a clear stigma around men that affects how men communicate their emotional difficulties. We did not all receive the same messages growing up, but there are traditional messages that have become ingrained in society, such as men shouldn’t cry, nor should they show weakness. Recognizing that it’s a generalization, most men have been taught that they need to present as being strong, in control, and can solve problems. This is learned behavior, whether it comes from media praising the stoic figure as a hero or traditional child-rearing. Don believes if men understand asking for help is a display of strength, the stigma of men needing to hide weakness will lessen.
We certainly see stigma of suicide in religion. Faith is one of the most important aspects of many people’s lives, so religious beliefs are significant here. The five most popular religions in the world still promote the idea that suicide is an egregious sin. Some still preach that the soul of someone who dies by suicide will go to hell or will linger on the planet without the ability to reincarnate. Some religions will not allow a funeral in a church if the person being honored died by suicide. This is another reason why people tend toward secrecy or offer inaccurate explanations of how their loved one died. Though there are more contemporary priests, rabbis, and imams who are more understanding today than there were even a generation ago, stigmas toward suicide remain a significant issue because the official teachings of the respective faiths have not changed.
Norms, values, and beliefs influence us, and many aspects of culture go unspoken; we simply grow up accepting them as truths. If we can change this perspective and encourage people to fight past this stigma, we will allow those who have lost loved ones to suicide to talk more openly and not feel so alone. When this happens, Don believes there will be a direct correlation to people asking for support in accessing mental health services and a reduction in the incidence of suicide. This may take a generation or more to have this change occur, but it is necessary.
Let's start
a converstation.
